letting my readers down…

what a cool thing! people actually read this blog, from time to time; even “like” posts and sometimes comment. thank you :)

i do not take you for granted!

regret not having posted anything for the past couple days…i had to go out of town for my last scheduled cancer treatment. i have lymphoma. i’m kinda down, cause the doctor explained (again!) that i am “incurable” and i’m not in remission: i have active cancer from neck to groin. but they had scheduled me for twenty treatments – told me i would be on this chemo “for the rest of my life” – and i guess i outlived what they thought would be the rest of my life… yay!! i’ve had rituximab every three months for the past five years. i had reached stage 4 before anybody noticed i was sick.

so now we start the treatment protocol called “watch and wait.” wait for what? i have been very vocal in opposing the cessation of the treatments, but i guess one can only get so much for free… i am a veteran of the us army – oh, never in combat roles! first a trumpet player, then a psychotherapist – and the american public has been footing the bill for my treatment: thanks americans!! i mean that sincerely!

i was on active duty for 8 years, which, coincidentally, is roughly how long i’ve been getting treated for the cancer. what? you thought i said 5 years? ah, yes. the first 2-3 years i was on three different aggressive therapies. the first two were not effective at all and they had to stop giving me the one that did work because i had been on these toxic chemicals for so long there was real risk they would kill me. one way or the other i’m going to die – but don’t we all???

anyway, i hope to get over feeling sorry for myself soon and get back to writing, or cutting and pasting, or whatever i do here… and i hope to see you back again! thanks for visiting pzykrsis :)

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2 responses to “letting my readers down…

  1. hi jerry, hard to “like” this post, due to damn old #§%&?*’#. but you are wrong. you said, you have to overcome your feeling sorry for yourself. i cannot find in your post, that you feel sorry for yourself. you are to the point as always and with the facts. of course, as curious as you are, it would be a shame not to live to witness first contact with any extraterrestrial intelligence at least. or seeing a time machine invented. i for myself would very like to witness mankind evolve into religious tolerance. and the invention for the real life of the entreprise beaming machine of course. so that i could visit you within a blinking :-). yours, ilona

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